Preparation for a funeral
by snake screamer
Summary: The lead-up for Woodhouse's funeral


"Man is it me, or has Mrs Archer been... gloomy these past two months." Krieger said

"Gee Krieger considering her son is in a frigging coma and the one who did it still at large, it's a mystery why she would be so upset." Ray said annoyed

"Your a very mean sarcastic person." Krieger said

"Whatever." Ray muttered, though can't deny things have been gloomier since Archer been in a coma. 'Well it can't get any worse.'

Suddenly they heard someone opening the door downstairs. Both Ray and Krieger turned to see a man wearing a thick trenchcoat walking up the door.

"Where Archer." The man growled.

"Who wants to know." Lana said entering the room, looking at the man with a death glare of her own.

"I am Mr Archer detective." The man introduced himself.

"Archer has his own detective, man, how bad a detective was he." Krieger said

"You idiot, that the guy he hired to find Woodhouse." Ray snapped

"Seriously, take a anger management class cause your very mean today!" Krieger sniffed

"Oh will you idiot shut up and tell me where Archer is!" The man growled

"He is in a coma." Lana growled

"Oh err... my apology I didn't know." The detective said

"Uh-huh so listen what does he owe you for your obvious quitting the case." Lana said

"What, no I ain't quitting it, i solved it."

"What?" Ray said

"No way!" Krieger said

"You found Woodhouse." Lana said shocked

"Yeah... and that's the good news."

* * *

"So this him?" The detective asked

"Yep, that Woodhouse all right." Mallory muttered as she eyed the dead servant.

"Where did you find him?" Lana asked

"Does it matter?" The detective asked

"I guess not no." Lana said

"You don't have to worry about funeral expenses"

"What?" Mallory asked

"Mr. Archer said that if Woodhouse was found confirmed dead, he already called an undertaker and paid for advance a proper send-off."

"Really?" Lana asked surprised

"Yep, surprise about that too when he told me about the sand thing and the spider web thing. But he said he owe the old dope fiend for having a hand raising and showing up to at least one of his lacrosse games, and figure he deserves a good funeral at least." The detective said, lighting his cigarette.

"Does that include advance payment so we don't have to pay you." Mallory asked hopefully

"Nope." The detective said

"Damn-it." Mallory sighed.

"Right, so how much do we owe you?" Lana questioned

"1 thousand dollar or somehow producing a cadillac."

Both Mallory and Lana looked at each other.

* * *

"And your positive, this isn't a exboyfriend thing." Ron said as he saw the detective drive away with a free cadillac.

"Yes, you meet Woodhouse." Mallory said annoyed.

"I'm just making sure." Ron sniffed annoyed.

"Hmm." Mallory grunted

* * *

"So were all going to Woodhouse funeral." Cyril questioned

"Well yeah, duh, he may not have been a major character but we all know him and he deserve to at least be seen by those who known him best." Cheryl said

"And that her saying that even with her belief this is still a show." Pam said.

"Plus it gives us a chance to prepare for one of the recurring characters death if it occur to us." Cheryl said

"Why the heck are you looking at me when you say that." Ray said annoyed

"Well you seem the most likely, what with your cybernetic and i can't see you in the opening." Cheryl said

"First of all remind me to slap your tits off later.' Ray said annoyed

"Hmmm... no." Cheryl said

"Secondly, i see Krieger dying off."

An explosion could be heard as Krieger was launched out of the breakroom, looking a bit sooted. He got up and brushed himself abit before walking back into the breakroom.

"For obvious reasons." Ray deadpanned.

* * *

"Are you all ready?" Mallory asked

"Yes."

"Good, i don't want any of your usual shenanigans, this man literally had to spent the most time with my son antic, so he deserve a proper send off, understood?"

"Yes."

"Good." Mallory said as she and the others left for the funeral, unaware that Woodhouse's death will have an affect on Archer dreamscape.

 _Fin._


End file.
